Long term relationships?

I know this probably isn’t a very serious matter or anything of importance, but I’ve always wondered…
What do couples (that have been together for a long time, like years) do if they have broken up and gotten back together, how do they determine how much time they should consider themselves as a net worth of time as a couple? An example is in ‘how I met your mother,’ a show that I enjoy watching. Spoiler alert, Lilly and Marshall are together for a long time and end up marrying, but not without a gap, they break up for about two or three months, but in the plot, they were dating for 9 whole years before that happened, so when they get back together should they add the nine years to the new time that they are back together, and (in lack of a better expression) ‘mind the gap’ and just erase that out of their history, and just not count it? I mean, yes, they were together for 9 entire years, but if they breakup, and then get back together, should they still be able to hold their pride and say without guilt, the number they have been together, minus the gap? It seems to be a pretty petty thing to worry about I guess, but one time I was on vacation, and I was talking to this old couple. They were adorable, they had been together since they first started dating all the way back to when the lady was 13 and the guy was 16, and they went on to marry each other. They were somewhere in their seventies when they were telling me about this, and I don’t recall, but I think they had told me a net amount of how long the had been together, like 50 something years or more. But now I’m wondering, did they ever break up during that? Do couples that spend a long time together and break up a few times but get back together still just count the overall time dating that person? I probably would count overall time, but not having been in a very long term relationship I guess I just don’t know yet, I just can’t help but thinking that I would be somebody to say “we have been together for 15 years 🙂 but we have known each other for 17, and didn’t start dating till we knew each other for a year…. And then we broke up after two years, for about six months, then got back together…. then four years later we broke up for another six months (the math of that is 6 years together so far I think) and we got back together and have been going strong ever since for 9 years…..” But what about if one person in the couple dates someone during the time they aren’t dating their eventual long term partner that they claim to have had this long relationship with, what then? A quote from my sister “I love you, I just need to see what I’m like when I’m not with you, i need some time to find myself (and sleep with/date other people)” bam! The adroableness of the ‘long term’ relationship is crushed, so I guess maybe sticking with the time since they have gotten back together after the last breakup with each other would be best….



3 thoughts on “Long term relationships?

  1. I know this is left of field of very opinionated but my theory is, if you break up, you break up for a reason. There should be none of this going back business. If you feel the need to see if the grass is greener then you don’t really want to be with me….rant done!
    Now in answer to your question. I wouln’t mention the time lapse. If you were together for 15 years and spent 6 months apart you pretend it didn’t happen I guess.

    • I know, it’s kind of like the Taylor swift song “we are never ever getting back together” that makes fun of the pettiness of getting back together after it has failed more than once already. Also, your point about somebody not wanting to be with you if they leave to see if the grass is greener…. Very true, and it’s selfish for somebody to leave, come back, and expect that their previous partner will still like them after what they put them through!

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