So I decided I’m going to write another post about something related to relationships. I feel like as we mature we go from our “only friendships” stage in kindergarten and grade school, to the throughout middle school and high school stage, where we reach the “I kind of like you” stage, or the “lets make out” stage. I’m not saying everybody goes through those certain stages at those times, but it seems like it usually happens in those ranges. During the middle school stage it’s usually the prettynesss of “oh, does he like me????” Or somebody saying “he’d never go out with me” followed by “yeah he would, you’re awesome.” First of all, why do middle schoolers need to date? Personally, I think they are to young to date, maybe like each other. But when these middle schoolers are dating someone and tell their kids about their first kiss, won’t it sound strange when they say “I had my first kiss at 12, it was so amazing,” the odds are, if you are kissing a 12 year old boy, he probably won’t know what he’s doing, boys mature slower than us… especially in those ages. In high school, we, as people, might advance in our intelligence, but we are all fairly inexperienced in relationships. Yes, some of us may have long, lasting relationships throughout highschool, and may develop faster than others, some of us will have a stage where we go through many boyfriends and girlfriends (depending on your gender), and those who do have a lot of relationships might think they are an expert. But if somebody is so good at relationships, then why can’t they keep one going for longer than a few weeks? The long high school relationships may end up having you be “high school sweethearts” as people like to call it, or you’ll end up breaking up. Sadly, there are only a few ways a relationship can go, and the prospects of marrying this person, or breaking up with them, are both scary, but if you think about it, that’s the only way. The relationship either progresses, or ends; or in cases where you don’t want marriage, it stays in a maybe emotionally progressing way, but the relationship doesn’t progress as much, because there is no where you want to go from there. Once you get into college you are still at the “it’s still to early to marry anyone” stage (I’m saying that usually that seems to be the case, i realize it depends on what stage you are in life…). So in college you are not sure how to answer the questions your parents may have about marriage, and your relationships can still be somewhat “light” and not too serious, so there are less reasons to fight with your significant other (even though everyone seems to find other reasons to).
Once you get to the end of college/out of college and onto a job, you usually figure out if you want to be married, if you want to have kids, and if you are ready to get engaged. Not that you can rush those things, and necessarily make them happen when you want to, but hopefully you’ll have a good idea of what you want when you’re that age. Also, men (I’m not saying women can’t do this) but men usually seem to decide if they want to break up with (not always), or propose to their girlfriend at this stage. Or, as some others would choose, they turn it into the “ask their girlfriend to move in with them” stage. Now I’m not saying that every girl wouldn’t do this, and that all men do it for these reasons, but as some older women have begrudgingly pointed out to me, they don’t like the idea of it because it’s only good for the man. in a movie I watched once, called “act like a lady, think like a man” they brought up a point that supported this theory, if you are in a relationship with a man, and you move in with him, he most likely won’t propose to you! He figures he has you living with him, and that’s what marriage is like, what’s the reason for the ring? Which in my opinion is selfish, because the ring (I know it’s just a ring), but the ring, symbolizes commitment, and you get married because of it, and then people don’t talk about you like you’re a slut for moving in with your boyfriend. I guess they just think that because its like a switch in their mind automatically goes to “oh my gosh, they are so sleeping with each other!” Even though, don’t they suppose people do that even if they aren’t already in the same house? (Depending on the people of course). Ok, so I’ve kind of gotten of topic, or more like of course from what my point is. So once a couple gets married, they have the freedom that couples with kids don’t have. They can do it whenever they want (of course with the acception of work, and when they want to) but they have the option to not have to worry about being interrupted by their kids needing them, or possibly walking in on them.
The newlyweds also can go on two people vacations and trips, which is easier than having to be in charge of kids having to go pee, making sure they have their stuff, and also making sure you don’t forget them. But that’s probably the first experience that couples have, which makes them grow, not only as a person, but as a couple. They have to figure out how to deal with this person on the road for a long time, and possibly being tired, as well as thinking “who drives?” Or “who will be in charge of looking up the directions?” And etc. although couples may be able to work through these trips, possibly with ease, or possibly not, but try adding kids to the equation. This seems to be the perfect formula for fights, frustration, and an annoying first few days on a trip.
I’ve noticed that long car trips turn people into stress puppies, and I think if married couples with kids take to a lot of these trips, they start to focus on the bad traveling attitudes of their spouse, and end up expecting the worst. My point is (I guess I’m an optimist, considering I haven’t gone through this yet) I feel like, if you expect the worst to happen, it most likely will; if you expect it to turn out ok, you will be less stressed because you won’t be focusing on the bad.
I realize I may be wrong about some of these points, and may have the wrong ideas. But these are just some of my thoughts.