How is see it, is that if someone has the chance, they’ll go back to what they’re comfortable with. Comfort can be: a place you lived a long time, the way it felt to have a drink in your hand (for an alcoholic), being young and carefree again, or getting back into an old relationship (which most of us easily fall back into).
A young college student may go off to college for their freshman year super excited. Once they’ve gone through a few months of living on their own, though, they may want of just run back home. They’ll go back to where they’re comfortable. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to like something because it’s comfortable, but sometimes it may not be the best option. How do we expect to grow if we live life completely in our comfort zone? We’ll never experience anything, or mature, if we’re all still living with our parents, after we get a glimpse of the real world.
My brother dated this girl for a while, and I’m not claiming that he was comfortable with her– wait actually, yes, he was comfortable with her. But you see, she broke up with him. Her reasons, are unknown to me. Though, what I do know, is that he still goes over to her house, on occasion, to feel that comfort. Which he claims is them being ‘friends,’ which I kind of doubt. I’m not saying you can’t be friends with your ex. What I am is saying though, is that if you still have feelings for your ex, something may not be happening between the two of you, but you still are cultivating your feelings for them.
One of the many beauties of life is that we have the capacity to move on. For death, it is called grieving. Though we don’t like to admit it, we do move on after a person’s death. It’s not like we don’t miss them, it’s just that we have gone through the motions and have realized that life can carry on. It’s the same thing with a break up. Sure, it does suck during those first few weeks of loneliness, but that’s just the hardest part. Once you get over them, it gets easier, and life goes on. But sometimes, during this ‘grieving’ stage, an ex may come and ask for your forgiveness, and for you to ‘take them back.’ This is what we call the “on again, off again” couple, because they are always flip flopping in and out of the same relationship. In some cases, they possibly should stay in the relationship, but only if their breakups are because of outside conflicts. However, if a couple goes through this more than 3 times maybe, I might just consider them dysfunctional. Dys, I would imagine, means doesn’t. And functional, means to work. So this couple, I hear by declare, should just face it, they don’t work together.
That point brings me to the main idea of this thought. If you are in your “on again, off again” relationship because you’re comfortable, you probably should just breakup. Because, like I said earlier, if we all stay in our comfort zones, we will never be able to grow and experience new things (i.e. relationships).
So, if you are consistently having trouble with a relationship, why not just break up with the person? After all, you may feel a sense of freedom, and you would have the opportunity to develop a different, and possibly more healthy, relationship.