Concerts

A week ago, I went to my first concert. It’s an interesting experience. Almost a herd mentality forms when the singer walks into the crowd, and sometimes you can’t hear the words. It’s cool though, to think that all of you are there for one reason: to see your favorite performer, live and in the flesh, singing in front of you (even if you’re like hundreds of feet away from them, but thats not the point… 😉 it’s an experience). I’m not the type of person who is a mega-fan of anyone, or at least not at the moment (I’m not saying I couldn’t ever be a mega fan), I’m just not to the extent that I get excited to reach out in the hopes to just touch a person though. I would say that I appreciate music. I just don’t like to be a jumpy person when the atmosphere, or like mood of the song is wrong for jumping though. In my opinion, the person that I went to see, Gavin DeGraw, doesn’t have songs that you need to jump to, in order to enjoy. You can just sit back and listen to the words, at least that’s what I’d like to do. It kind of gets to me though, when people are like “why aren’t you up and jumping around?!?!?!????!!!!”
because I like to hear the music, not my brain jostling around in my head” I think to myself.
Of course I don’t respond with that, but it’s what I think sometimes. When train came on though, I did stand up, because it felt like the right music to jump to.
All in all, it was a great concert. So good that I left with a headache (sarcasm) haha, but sarcasm aside, I am serious, I did actually enjoy it. I’m going to another concert soon, and look forward to writing to you all about it.

The goal of this blog

If I were a reader of this blog, by now I would be very confused, or curious, as to what the point of it actually is. What is this goal of it? I’m not here to answer that, because I’m not really sure myself. I started it with no particular subject basis in mind; I started it with the idea to write down my thoughts. If you do wish to see me write about a particular subject though, please let me know. I would be happy to give you my point of view (if it matters to you). For now though, I will write my thoughts, and ideas. I’ll try to gauge what you all find more interesting, by seeing the responses I get, but my posts may come out in a ramble of topics for a while. I guess I will answer the question above though. There are two main things I can think of, wait, make that three:
1) to share my thoughts (as I’ve said multiple times)
2) to maybe share an opinion with you, that you thought you only felt
3) to find the purpose of this blog
So I guess those are the goals. If you have any comments, questions, or suggestions, about what I write, please do speak up 🙂 I’d be interested to read what you think about the blog.

Opinions

To me feelings don’t have to be where one person is the only thing you think about; but just that they are the one you think about in that way. Relationships don’t have to be hard, but that doesn’t mean they are always easy. At the end of the day, you should feel happy with who you are with. Feelings can be directed to many people, just be careful that you don’t allow anyone to abuse your affection. Don’t let someone treat you in a way that is less than you feel like you deserve. Be careful about who you choose to hate, don’t hate blindly, for you don’t know the reason they are in your life. If you can, try to not hate at all, it’s a waste of your energy to focus on the bad. Unless someone is mean to you, you shouldn’t say bad things about them. Even if someone is mean to you though, you should still aim to filter your words. Who knows, the person you’re talking about today, might end up as your friend later on. If someone is saying bad things about you behind your back, don’t turn around and say bad things in return; it will make you no better than them. Unless you know for a fact that something is true, don’t go talking about it like it is.

Boyfriends

Boyfriends. Do we really need them? Honestly, probably not, but they surely do make life more… Interesting. Knowing that there’s someone, who you’re paired off with, in this world that has gotten so accustomed to pairing off; finally, you’re in one of the beloved pairs! (Not necessarily for life, but for a little while). Now I know that being in a relationship doesn’t make you any more, or less, of a person. I don’t even know what age I think it’s good to get in a relationship, or to be at least open to starting one, because I guess I think it depends on each individual person. In my opinion, relationships are pretty fun. I like to be a serious person, but I also like to have someone that I can be silly with, and weird around, and that likes me for me. I know you can get that from a best friend, or like someone who doesn’t necessarily have to fit the description of a physically involved partner. But, it’s surely more fun when those silly moments, can lead to a kiss, and make that moment feel that little extra bit of fun. I know you’re probably thinking something like “Hello! Being in a relationship, and kissing people isn’t what life is all about!” I definitely realize that, I’m just describing my thoughts of being in relationships. I do feel like its important to not become obsessed with being in relationships though, because that’s not healthy; and being single for a while does help you realize that having another person liking you that way, is not a factor of survival, and that you can be strong on your own. So now that that is clear, I’ll try to redirect back what I was trying to say. They can be a fun thing, and they can be a hard thing.
Hmm… Now I’ve kind of forgotten what I was getting at…
Ahh, yes! I remember; I was getting to my thoughts of affection. I feel like one of my most favorite things about relationships is cuddling, and just hugging that special person. I just helps to reaffirm (in my opinion) the way you care about each other. Having special time with a special person is the best, it makes me so happy. About a week or two ago, I was hanging out with my boyfriend at my house. I hadn’t seen him for about almost two weeks. I didn’t realize, until after we hugged, how much I had missed him, and just craved the feeling of being close to him, and being able to touch him. The rest of our time hanging out was very enjoyable; I was just flooded with happy emotion. Seeing him after a while of not being able to, just filled my happiness and love tank, to an all time high. I was over come with happy feelings for him. In my opinion, although it was a fairly short amount of time in retrospect, it felt like forever for our budding relationship. The length of our relationship now could probably be compared to a little sprout of a relationship, much more developed than a seed, but not necessarily a tree. We’ve been going out for almost two months now, and I really enjoy his company, and talking to him. He was a guy that I had a crush on for a while, and then when he said that he wanted me to be his girl ever since he saw me, it made my day. What makes me amazed though, is how different relationships can be with each person you date. In the grand scheme of things, I look at this relationship as my first serious, and notable relationship. I was sort of the girlfriend of a guy before the archer, and it lasted for longer than the archer and I have been going out, but it was far less of a relationship. In three months, I had allowed him to only kiss me twice. I didn’t want to kiss him, and sadly only realized that after I had already agreed to being his girlfriend. I would make excuses not to kiss him, and he just accepted it. He didn’t try to make any emotional connection by deeply talking to me at all, and I felt bored when I talked to him, because I tended to keep the conversation going. He would only complain about his little siblings, and then it just just became annoying because when I would try to talk about something I wanted to speak about (granted the one thing I’m thinking of is an intellectual discussion) he just would shrug it off and not even humor me. To me, I had been talking to this guy for two years as friends (fb friends) and we had good conversations, but when I agreed to being his girlfriend, he seemed to not care what I had to say anymore. I have the capacity to like personalities, where they can be more attractive than looks, and I had thought his personality (his online one that is) seemed nice. He wasn’t very attractive, and I could tell that from his pictures, but I was attached to the personality. So I went out with him. When I realized that both aspects weren’t good… I broke up with him… Over text nonetheless. Lets just say, I wanted it to be over, and over soon. I know it’s not considerate to break up over text, but it felt like there wasn’t a better way. Because I wanted to make sure to end it, and I hadn’t seen him for like the last third of our relationship, so it’s not like I could arrange a time to see him, and I didn’t want to have to wait long. We never had even hung out anywhere other than our one meeting spot (a public facility). He didn’t come over to my house the entire three months, and honestly, I didn’t want him to.
Now my current boyfriend (code name, the archer): Let’s just say, we beat the kissing record of my last relationship, in the first day. We had talked a bit before we got together, on fb, and had talked in person before he found my Facebook, so it’s not like I jumped into it. I was glad to know that he is definitely a way better kisser than the first guy. I had convinced myself that kissing didn’t have it have fireworks for the fist guy, or like that it was probably overrated and that that was why it sucked with me and the first guy. Nope, I was just making excuses for his horrible kissing. Because according to him, I was good. In my book though, he was not, and it made me feel uncomfortable to kiss him. He was my first kiss though. With my archer though, kissing feels right, and has an even more powerful affect when we don’t get to do it for the length of just a few days. I’m glad to have found my arch, because we definitely have a connection. He makes me happy, and I miss him when I’m not with him. That was completely not the case with the other guy. I just didn’t know that relationships could be this affecting to your moods. I guess it’s just what happens though when you like someone, and start to get attached to them.
I can honestly say, I’ve never felt this way before, and am excited to see what the future holds for me and my archer.

Lucas Scott (the One Tree Hill post)

The reason I wanted to I write this post was because, I wanted to express my thoughts on a certain style of writing. It’s a style of writing that I respect, yet at the same time, dislike. It’s kind of like contemporary art in a way, this writing style. You take materials from things around you, add your own flair to it, and then it’s your piece of art, or writing. The other day, I saw this thing in the news paper about a book sculpture that someone did. I thought to my self “that’s interesting looking, but how is it art? Like how could someone consider themselves an artist if they are taking already made materials, and just glueing them together?” I came to the conclusion that I guess the artistic part of modern art is that we take these regular items, and create them into a figment of our own imagination. But, I don’t consider it art when someone takes just one book or something, puts it on a frame, and then claims that it’s ‘art’. In one tree hill, Lucas writes about his own experiences, but I think he writes it in the heir of it being fiction. In some aspects, it could be fiction. After all, not everything we write about our real lives has to be true. But to me, it’s kind of a less creative way of writing, not that people who use this style aren’t great writers or anything. But, I feel like some people try to pass off a book as this great fictional piece that they created, but every character is like someone from their actual life (mimicking almost every aspect of the person, that is). I don’t mind reading a book that uses the characters as real life person’s look, occupation, hobbies, etc. But, when your books are all of characters completely fabricated from others around you, I feel like you should be truthful to yourself; you’re writing a piece of fiction with you, and the people closest to you in life, not a fiction that you pulled out of a hat or something. Dan Humphrey, from gossip girl, has this style of writing as well. He has ways of describing the characters in ways that are creative, but everyone in his books are based off of real life. I like it when writers at least own up to the fact that these characters are supposed to be, and are meant to be, based off of certain people. Eventually, though, I feel like a writer has to break out of the shell of what they know, and transition into writing where they ease away from completely describing someone in their own life rather than actually making their own characters.