my doppelganger

I was just going on my favorite multi-author blog website, when I came across this cool post. It had a picture of somebody from a show that I’ve watched… about three times through haha. it’s called How I Met Your Mother. It’s a very good show, and worth watching if any of you haven’t seen it yet. Anyways, it was about some of the inspirational things that the character, Ted Mosby, has said. In this post, I’m going to share with you my thoughts about one, or maybe a few, of the quotes. In the show, Ted and the gang are looking for their doppelgangers. The word doppelganger means: two timer. But, it also can be like a double; someone who looks like you, but isn’t related to you. Basically, Ted put a meaning behind their whole search. Eventually, they find everybody’s doppelgangers, but Ted makes an insightful realization. He says “But eventually, over time, we all become our own doppelgängers, you know, these completely different people who just happen to look like us.” Looking back over this past year or so, I think it has been a large learning, and growing, period in my life. In this year, so much has changed, as well as me. I’ve really become my own person in a few different ways. At the begging of last year, I started actually working out. Before, I used to do nothing with my time. Again, I was the same person, but I feel like now, I look nothing like me. I know what you’re thinking, and no, I didn’t go through a tremendous weight loss or makeover or anything. I’ve started forming an identity for myself though; which I think, is making me a different person from who I was a year ago. It’s not like I didn’t have an identity before, but I just didn’t know what image of me I wanted to put out there. I still don’t, but I’m figuring it out as I go. Another thing that has changed, is that I decided to not hanging out with a certain friend, which was a major adjustment, considering we spent so much time together. Honestly, I would’ve kept her around, but there was too much deceit going on there. But, I’m not angry at her, I’m just disappointed looking back on it. This year, with that, I learned to make choices, and that sometimes those choices are hard. You can be content with a decision at first, but living with the decision is a struggle. It was a decision that because of what was going on, it wasn’t worth going through, even to keep about a 5 year long friendship going. I’ve learned that maybe we appreciate people more, when they are out of our lives. We take for granted the ones that we have, we snip at people, call people names, and complain about them. But, why? Well, it’s human nature. But, who do you go to when times are tough? Most likely, you go to someone you’ve been harsh to at least once or twice. But, think for a moment, if they weren’t in your life anymore, don’t you think you might appreciate what they were to you, a little more? That’s the struggle in life, people come and go. Let’s see, what’s anther thing that happened this year… Well, my dog died. He showed me, that even if you can’t and have never, said anything at all, you can still make a difference in someone’s life. I would go to him when I was sad, and would cry into his fur… Even though he didn’t say anything (well yeah, he’s a dog, he couldn’t have said anything, duh :P) I knew he was there for me, I could just feel it. Somehow, my voiceless little brother was able to speak many words, with the way he would look at me. He also taught me that sometimes it’s not another human’s death that is the first death that you necessarily mourn for. Sometimes, it’s the death of a pet that you’d been coming home to for the last 12 years of your life; the one that you remembered getting when you were just a kid and he was just a puppy. Another thing that happened in the past year is that I’ve actually had relationships with boys. In the beginning of December of 2012, I got into my first relationship, and I ended it. The next relationship ended up being with the archer, we lasted from the end of may, until a little bit after the end of summer. It was kind of a flip flop ending, going back in and out for a week or two, but it ended with me ending it. With the first guy, I learned how to kiss (because was my first human test subject >:D mauhahaha, I’m just kidding, and he wasn’t a good kisser anyways), I also learned, that I could hack this whole “relationship” thangg 😛 Even though it wasn’t an interesting one, it still taught me that I was capable. With the archer, I learned that I had the power to have the feelings that I had for him. I had never felt that way about someone before. And, with Dominco, I’m learning that some people have a power on me, that leaves me feeling exhilarated after we’ve hung out. Also, the exchange student taught me how to have a friendship with someone that I never met, who just happened to be living at my house for the next five weeks! It was quite an experience, that I would’ve never imagined having a year ago. Finally, the last but certainly not least thing is, I think I’ve gotten better at talking to people. No longer am I afraid to have a lengthy conversation with an adult, in the fear of appearing stupid. No longer am I afraid to talk to guys that I may find cute. Now, I am mostly able to talk to them like they are other human beings. Now, I’m able to feel comfortable in my surroundings. This year, I have become more of myself. I am more than I used to be. It’s like I have shed my skin of the past, and yes it was me, but it was a me from a different time. The me from a year ago, is my doppelganger. 


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