So, my readers, I don’t know what to write ._. …….The other day, and the day before that, I had life changing (I’m being sarcastic right there…) ideas for what I was going to you write about. Now, I am at a loss as to what those ideas were. I’ll started with what’s been going on though.
On Sunday I went to church *cue choir singing “yay”* haha, jk, I don’t listen to a choir in my Sunday school :p
But anyways, so somebody in Sunday school brought up the fact that your nose is visible to you, but your brain just chooses to ignore it. I bet most of the people in Sunday school were very dizzy after trying to consciously register their nose– I know I was …
The youth leader also said that, no matter how many pictures of us we see, or how many times we look in the mirror, we will never be able to see ourselves as the rest of the world does. We only get a mirror to reverse our features. That was the reason for the person’s comment about the fact that you actually could see your nose. This point about the mirrors though, made me think of my cat. He is like the most gorgeous little thing ever. He is black and white, and he has a mostly black face with a cute little white nose, and the whiteness goes up a little further in between his eyes. So as you all know, most markings on fur aren’t completely symmetrical. So, when he’s in the mirror and I see that white and black meeting of fur part on his face, he looks kinda different. Like he’s got a whole little ‘scar face’ thing going on in the mirror. Then, when I just look at him, his faces looks completely normal. So does this mean that maybe, since we see our flaws, better yet, intricacies, in the mirror, could they possibly appear beautiful, or better looking to others than how we see them?
Next day.. let’s see… Monday. What was I going to bring up about Monday….
I honestly can’t remember. So, instead I’ll tell you about this paper I’m going to write. It’s going to be about a couple different things having to do with conscious and unconscious body language and actions, around people that we find attractive, and like. I’m going to try to research what things we just tend to do when we are attracted to someone, even if we don’t realize it yet ourselves. Hopefully, it will give me insight into the body language world, and maybe it will make it easier for me to pick up clues. Actually, I don’t really think it will… but here’s to hope! lol. So, today though, I think I must have been accidentally mimicking a theory I had remembered. Or maybe I was just wanting to find somebody to like.. but here it goes. So, there were a few things that I noticed about me today, having to do with the following: shyness when you find someone attractive, orienting your body in their direction, magnetism, and mirroring. I’m not quite sure there was mirroring actually… maybe I’ll remember though as I write this. So I know this guy. He’s really fun to talk to, and is a friend. But I don’t really hang out with him other than in this one environment. However, he has tried to hint towards my sister and I going to this one get together for something, but we ended up being busy on the days it was happening. That was a while ago, and he hasn’t brought hanging out up really other than that. Okay, so I’ll start with the first thing I listed. Keep in mind, I view this guy as like a brother usually. Like it’s interesting to imagine ever dating him, but today I thought of it. Actually, sorry, I’m going to first explain my thoughts, and then progressively make my points…
I wasn’t expecting him to show up today, normally he does, but he wasn’t working today so I thought he wouldn’t. He came anyways though, to participate and hangout. So, when he walked through the door, for some reason I was just flustered…
He looked cute. Normally, I don’t think those thoughts about him. His hair was nice and clean looking, and it was scruffy and casual (which is a style I like on him, it makes him seem more in my age range, because most of the time he’s conservative looking, which makes him seem a bit older, and he’s also smart). So, his hair was fluffy… and cute. Not a normal thing for me to notice this… it freaked me out to be thinking this.
So, around a few minutes after he walks in, we haven’t started our usual exchange of comments about our few topics of the day that we randomly bring up, because we were all a bit distracted for a minute by somebody trying a flip thing. So he was on the other side on the area, and the flip-e was in between us. Right before the person flipped, I displayed one sign: shyness. Because our eyes met for a millisecond, and i averted my gaze. Normally it wouldn’t have fazed me. Also, the second sign, I kept finding myself wondering what he was doing, so i was watching him and my body was oriented in his direction. The next point, magnetism. Usually during our conversations I just split off after a few comments to resume the activity, but one time I found myself kind of following (literally following.. but it was in an acceptable area, because I was assume that I was going there anyways to bystanders) him for a second. So that was the magnetism, I was unconsciously placing myself near him. The last one… let’s see, mirroring… I don’t know if I mirrored him at all today. But sometimes during our usual conversations I do.
Ugh.. it would help so much if I wasn’t trying to keep this anonymous, because then I could tell you where I was, and what a certain activity that had to with something that he was teasing me about is … But, I won’t tell, because it is anonymous. So, basically, he teases (but not in a childish way). He’s really nice. He also talks a lot and is fun to talk to, and he’s got a nice build. I was (creeper stalkishly) admiring the build of his shoulders. He’s not a very meaty guy by any means, but his structure is nice and symmetrical. His back just happens to be one of his best features 😉
The reason why it was creeper stalkishly of me to do that, is because I usually view his as a friend, not a potential crush.. So now my mind is totally out of whack, because I like him as a friend. “But why not take a chance on flirting it up with this ‘friend’?” my brain asks me ignorantly. Well there are a few reasons it might not be the best idea. He works at a place where I like to hang out, so if we dated and broke up, then I wouldn’t want it to be awkward for us. Also, like I said earlier, he’s normally very conservative. He doesn’t seem to be super flirty (at least not in obvious physical ways). He also probably wouldn’t make the first move, like with initiating a kiss or anything. So, I’ve basically contemplated it, and I think it’s either up to me to make the first move if I do decide I like him, or pray that there’s a chance we get in a compromising situation where he can’t stand but to kiss me. I think the latter has less of a chance of happening, but you never know 😉 haha.
Ps. I had noticed that there was a correlation to the two things, which was symmetrical stuff, so yeah, that’s why it’s the subject title.
Pps. Do y’all think it would be worth it, even if it could result in the dynamics being muddied?