Caramel the hamster

This is a story about my hamster caramel, he was fat, and his nick name was big guy. So big guy lived to be about 2 and 1/2. One night, I went to pick him up out of his bin to play with him. So I was holding him and he didn’t seem very energetic, so I went downstairs to my mom because I was little and didn’t know what to think of it. I said to her, “Momma, big guy isn’t acting normal.” 
She kind of sighed and now that I think back, it was probably because she knew what was wrong with him. She was eating chicken noodle soup, so she said “how about we give him some of the broth”. I was a little kid, I would’ve tried anything, so I was like “okay”. After he had his soup I walked out of the kitchen on my way to bring him upstairs. I had only gotten in the hallway and he started doing this heaving thing. My normally fat hamster looked noticeably small during the three deep breaths that I saw him take, which were so strong his rib cage was very visible under his thin fur. So I quickly walked him to his bin, thinking that maybe be just needed to walk around by himself for a while (and that maybe the carrying was bad for him or something). So I put him in his bin and came back 30 minutes later. The warm little body that had been breathing in my hands before was now lying on his side breathless. He lived a good life. He was a normal tempered hamster and had only bitten me once when I did something that I shouldn’t have, he had never bitten me just to be mean. I know things don’t always last long time, and that’s what I learned that night. Hamsters don’t normally live that long usually anyways.  Right now it feels like I’m holding Carmel again, and I just know that something’s not quite right for him and I want to fix it, but I can’t figure out how. You see, when big guy wasn’t doing well, if I had known of anything to help him, I would’ve done it. But I didn’t know, (in this case he was just on his way out. Period.) and he died. But I loved that hamster (he is like the one i remember the most of them all) and I would’ve done anything to keep him around. Sometimes we don’t have the answer though, or the cures. We don’t know what to do to make this certain happiness stick around. But we just hope with the quote in our minds “If you let something go and it comes back to you, it was yours all along, if it doesn’t, it was never yours”, that the happiness belongs to us.

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