The shore and the sea

The sea had a great pull on the shore. The shore makes herself smaller or larger, depending on the moods of the sea. Each night, the sea and shore lay together, swaying peacefully. It’s at times like these, that the sea makes the shore feel safe. Then in the morning they gather up and resume their usual routine. The shore adjusting for the sea. To justify the waves and thrashes of anger, the sea would make sure to leave gifts for the shore. The shore had lots of entertainment from the gifts. The shells would massage her smooth and grainy surface. Not only did her gifts bring her joy, but it also would bring temporary company. Even though withdrawing from the shore, the sea would always make sure the shore got some shallow entertainment while he was away. The shells felt nice against her softness, and she enjoyed the observers who would come to admire her precious shells that the sea adorned her with. This made her forget what the sea did. The sea would hurt her, and then try to make it better with gifts and distraction. Both of them couldn’t admit the discord existed. You see, the sea and the shore didn’t want to think that anything was wrong. Afterall, without the shore, the sea would just be an empty abyss– a lake. Certainly not as exciting as being admired from the association with the shore. The shore, would just be a dessert. She knows that no one visits desserts. She wouldn’t have even wanted to be a dessert if they did attract attention, though. Because, when the sea mixes with her, its unlike the feeling of being spread so far and wide. Yes, she would enjoy the freedom, but she has grown to know the sea. The sea always returns to her at night, to prove to her that gifts and temporary discord aside, they make a perfect pair. No one expected the shore and the sea to get together, and sometimes, the jealous wind tries to ruin them. The wind pushes the sea on the shore so hard, trying to make it appear that the sea is extra spiteful. Even though the shore can’t see the wind, the shore knows the sea loves her, and would not force himself on her so violently. These nasty spells with the wind are unexpected. Usually though, they find their way back to their harmony. That harmony, that only the can achieve together– that’s why they stay.

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wish me luck?

Okay, so there are a few things that I’m going to be working towards. 

  • writing 4 different story ideas (I know, you think I’m crazy… I’ll explain)
  • getting a job (I need to hand in some applications that I have mostly filled out)
  • paying attention better in school.. (admit it, we all need to)
  • and last, but surely not least: what I want to do when I grow up, what I want to study in college

So those are the things I will be working towards in the months to come/year. and speaking of another: 

  • find a new guy-interest 

I’m not saying I need a boyfriend again quite yet, but, having a crush-buddy to flirt with would be nice. In fact, Mr guy with the eyes just accepted my friend request on Facebook 😉 

Now, I will explain the mania of the four books… So ideas just seem to always be popping in my head about new things to write about, so…. I’ve come up with four ideas, recently,  in which I’ve decide to write scenes for. It may take a while to finish them, but I’m trying to come up with a system. I think it’s a good solution to me getting bored with writing one single book for a long period of time. Because, I don’t always have to be working on one book at a time, if i have an idea for one, I’ll write a scene, but, I’m not obligated to a certain set one. So, I will be e-mailing myself the parts of my books that I write, and I’ll be putting them into their own folders. I’ll keep the scenes straight by writing each scene’s name in the subject like, correlating to the organized scenes on an app that I’ll be using. The name of the app: a novel idea.

 Tomorrow, I think I will tackle finishing the applications… 

The school thing, well… I’ll just try and get some sleep tonight haha.

The last one. Okay, so I know I have about another year or two to figure out what I want to study, but I have a dilemma: there are too many things that interest me. It’s like I have hobby and interests ADD. The only thing that I’m consistent about ‘studying’ would be signs that someone is interested in you, or how to flirt. Stuff along the lines of that is like what water amounts as to the body, it needs it to survive. But, I wouldn’t be able to have a career about flirting… So, this thought leads me to more things. The stuff that interests me most is anything to do with how people work in social situations, why we react in certain ways when we are attracted to people, and maybe just philosophy or psychology. I’m certainly not the type who can picture themselves in a lab one day making ground breaking discoveries about something chemical… stuff in academia like that doesn’t interest me. What interests me are things that are either: social, or psychological. But, even knowing that, I don’t know what I want to do with that for a career.. It’s frustrating, because even though I will probably change my mind after I figure out once again what I think I’d want to do with my life, at least I’ll feel at peace for a second because I might have a basis as to what I’d like to do.  

And for the guy-interest, well… wish me luck 😛

Ps. I’m still not sure whether or not I like the friend that I mentioned the other day… I will probably be seeing him tomorrow though, so maybe that will clear up my perspective. 

camping

Ah… camping. I miss this little ritual. My family and I used to sign up for the yearly camping trip– in cabins, of course 😛 — with the home school group we were in. This year, though, we are no longer in the group, and will not be going to the camp. I really will miss going, for a few reasons…

Reason number 1: 

The first day is so awkward, but after you’ve gone one year, you know that it just gets better when the sun sets. It’s crazy how fun it is. The parents go to bed, and the teens wander from the camp fire, and around the cabins, then to the mess hall– where we play games. Apples to apples is one of my favorites. It’s even more fun when the parents aren’t around though haha. 

Reason number 2: 

Finding your group. So after the first day jitters, aka, people acting like shy little middle schoolers at a dance, you find your group. Whether you’re part of the: little kids group that no one wants to take care of; the middle-schoolers group that no one wants to be, because other people your age, at that age, are terribly boring; the barely teenagers, that get sent to the outskirts of the most coveted teen group; or the actually, ‘legit’ teen group; no matter which category you fall in, you’re still part of a group. I’ll admit it though, the only one that I enjoyed being in, was the teen group. I experienced two years of the teen group, they were a bit more enjoyable than being a ‘barely teen’. I was only a barely teen for one year of camping though. The point of this reason is, at camp, once you find your group (not set in stone by any means), your group and you usually stick around each other. There are no pre-determined groups, but those are usually the set groups. Oh, and then there are the parents, I guess they’re a group too. But all of them just want to go home though, after about a night. 

Reason number 3: 

When the sun goes down, it gets even better. The innocent flirting with the boys is at a high, and everybody is just having a good time. You end up in staring contests, having inside jokes after a game of apples to apples, or you climb trees in the dark. Basically, it’s like a mini paradise of camping. And a plus– everybody is walking around in their little comfy sweats in the evening, and they look adorably dazed by sleepiness, while walking around a damp campsite. 

Reason number 4: 

It’s a great way to form a closer friendship with your acquaintances from the ‘events’ that the home school group has. Yea, they are sometimes cool events, and sometimes teens exchange numbers. But at camping, it helps you form a friendship with your group-mates, and you go home and friend them all on fb like right away. 

Reason number 5: 

The walks to the water. These walks are when the guys in your group are busy doing something. Usually, the girls will walk to the lake, and talk the whole way down about random things they wouldn’t say around the guys; some comments having to do with the guys. When we get to the lake, it’s so peaceful. Then, the depth of the chatter gets to it’s deepest, until an adult decides to walk down to join us… then we’d talk about generic subjects… and leave soon after…

Reason number 6: 

Well, I’ve basically shared all my reasons, but the last would have to be that it’s memorable. I always want to go back year after year, because nothing beats the atmosphere of it, it’s just stuffed full of memories that make you want to return. 

Umm… Hello, Let’s talk about.. Symmetry

So, my readers, I don’t know what to write ._. …….The other day, and the day before that, I had life changing (I’m being sarcastic right there…) ideas for what I was going to you write about. Now, I am at a loss as to what those ideas were. I’ll started with what’s been going on though.

On Sunday I went to church *cue choir singing “yay”* haha, jk, I don’t listen to a choir in my Sunday school :p

But anyways, so somebody in Sunday school brought up the fact that your nose is visible to you, but your brain just chooses to ignore it. I bet most of the people in Sunday school were very dizzy after trying to consciously register their nose– I know I was …

The youth leader also said that, no matter how many pictures of us we see, or how many times we look in the mirror, we will never be able to see ourselves as the rest of the world does. We only get a mirror to reverse our features. That was the reason for the person’s comment about the fact that you actually could see your nose. This point about the mirrors though, made me think of my cat. He is like the most gorgeous little thing ever. He is black and white, and he has a mostly black face with a cute little white nose, and the whiteness goes up a little further in between his eyes. So as you all know, most markings on fur aren’t completely symmetrical. So, when he’s in the mirror and I see that white and black meeting of fur part on his face, he looks kinda different. Like he’s got a whole little ‘scar face’ thing going on in the mirror. Then, when I just look at him, his faces looks completely normal. So does this mean that maybe, since we see our flaws, better yet, intricacies, in the mirror, could they possibly appear beautiful, or better looking to others than how we see them?

Next day.. let’s see… Monday. What was I going to bring up about Monday….

I honestly can’t remember. So, instead I’ll tell you about this paper I’m going to write. It’s going to be about a couple different things having to do with conscious and unconscious body language and actions, around people that we find attractive, and like. I’m going to try to research what things we just tend to do when we are attracted to someone, even if we don’t realize it yet ourselves. Hopefully, it will give me insight into the body language world, and maybe it will make it easier for me to pick up clues. Actually, I don’t really think it will… but here’s to hope! lol. So, today though, I think I must have been accidentally mimicking a theory I had remembered. Or maybe I was just wanting to find somebody to like.. but here it goes. So, there were a few things that I noticed about me today, having to do with the following: shyness when you find someone attractive, orienting your body in their direction, magnetism, and mirroring. I’m not quite sure there was mirroring actually… maybe I’ll remember though as I write this. So I know this guy. He’s really fun to talk to, and is a friend. But I don’t really hang out with him other than in this one environment. However, he has tried to hint towards my sister and I going to this one get together for something, but we ended up being busy on the days it was happening. That was a while ago, and he hasn’t brought hanging out up really other than that. Okay, so I’ll start with the first thing I listed. Keep in mind, I view this guy as like a brother usually. Like it’s interesting to imagine ever dating him, but today I thought of it. Actually, sorry, I’m going to first explain my thoughts, and then progressively make my points…

I wasn’t expecting him to show up today, normally he does, but he wasn’t working today so I thought he wouldn’t. He came anyways though, to participate and hangout. So, when he walked through the door, for some reason I was just flustered…

He looked cute. Normally, I don’t think those thoughts about him. His hair was nice and clean looking, and it was scruffy and casual (which is a style I like on him, it makes him seem more in my age range, because most of the time he’s conservative looking, which makes him seem a bit older, and he’s also smart). So, his hair was fluffy… and cute. Not a normal thing for me to notice this… it freaked me out to be thinking this.

So, around a few minutes after he walks in, we haven’t started our usual exchange of comments about our few topics of the day that we randomly bring up, because we were all a bit distracted for a minute by somebody trying a flip thing. So he was on the other side on the area, and the flip-e was in between us. Right before the person flipped, I displayed one sign: shyness. Because our eyes met for a millisecond, and i averted my gaze. Normally it wouldn’t have fazed me. Also, the second sign, I kept finding myself wondering what he was doing, so i was watching him and my body was oriented in his direction. The next point, magnetism. Usually during our conversations I just split off after a few comments to resume the activity, but one time I found myself kind of following (literally following.. but it was in an acceptable area, because I was assume that I was going there anyways to bystanders) him for a second. So that was the magnetism, I was unconsciously placing myself near him. The last one… let’s see, mirroring… I don’t know if I mirrored him at all today. But sometimes during our usual conversations I do.

Ugh.. it would help so much if I wasn’t trying to keep this anonymous, because then I could tell you where I was, and what a certain activity that had to with something that he was teasing me about is … But, I won’t tell, because it is anonymous. So, basically, he teases (but not in a childish way). He’s really nice. He also talks a lot and is fun to talk to, and he’s got a nice build. I was (creeper stalkishly) admiring the build of his shoulders. He’s not a very meaty guy by any means, but his structure is nice and symmetrical. His back just happens to be one of his best features 😉

The reason why it was creeper stalkishly of me to do that, is because I usually view his as a friend, not a potential crush.. So now my mind is totally out of whack, because I like him as a friend. “But why not take a chance on flirting it up with this ‘friend’?” my brain asks me ignorantly. Well there are a few reasons it might not be the best idea. He works at a place where I like to hang out, so if we dated and broke up, then I wouldn’t want it to be awkward for us. Also, like I said earlier, he’s normally very conservative. He doesn’t seem to be super flirty (at least not in obvious physical ways). He also probably wouldn’t make the first move, like with initiating a kiss or anything. So, I’ve basically contemplated it, and I think it’s either up to me to make the first move if I do decide I like him, or pray that there’s a chance we get in a compromising situation where he can’t stand but to kiss me. I think the latter has less of a chance of happening, but you never know 😉 haha.

Ps. I had noticed that there was a correlation to the two things, which was symmetrical stuff, so yeah, that’s why it’s the subject title.

Pps. Do y’all think it would be worth it, even if it could result in the dynamics being muddied?

Simplicity

Maybe the trick to writing well, is to keep it simple. Try to use as few words as possible. If you do use many words though, make them meaningful. These days we use so many words, they don’t mean a thing. In speech, we fill awkward pauses with mindless babble. That translates into our writing. When our mind feels awkward and uninspired, it babbles.