Let’s get writing 

Dear readers, 

I know it has been a while and I am sorry that I haven’t written sooner. I don’t remember what I even posted last. I’m forgetful of who I was dating at the time, how college was going, and why exactly I bailed on you all for months. I suppose I could go back to my last post and figure out what I told you all, but for now I’m on the mobile version of WordPress and would just like to tell you all that I’m going to attempt to return to you at least every so often, or maybe every other day if I can manage squeezing in time to write. 

The starting of this past year was quite interesting. I broke up with my boyfriend of one year in the fall of 2015, which then landed me talking to the archer again for a short spurt, which resulted in my love life including him when I welcomed the new year. However, shortly after the spring semester of 2016 started, the long distance between him and I wore down, so we called it quits. 

Segue into mid semester a month or two after the archer and I finished, I met someone. It’s not like I hadn’t seen him on campus before, but I hadn’t met him until the middle of the spring. We hung out for a bit and decided to start talking to each other, as he plainly stated to me right away that he was looking for a relationship. After figuring out that we genuinely liked each case others’ personalities, rather than just liking each other for our looks, we started dating. Currently I am still dating this guy and I will call him my gentle giant for the purposes of this blog. He may develop other nick names, but for now, when I say gentle giant that is who I am talking about. 

Now enough about guys, let’s talk about a few other things. As far as personal health, I am working on being more conscious about my emotions and the occasional depression that I may face. I’m trying to learn of ways to cope with it and not let it overcome me and make me lash at those who I love. I read this great short story today and it’s an elder’s tale about the battle between two inner wolves. I will find it and copy it so that you may all read it, and then I will attach it here. 

The semester is about to start and I am excited to get back in the groove of learning about stuff within my major and growing my intellect as I go. Currently, while I still have down-time, I am reading “The Free State of Jones” and I encourage you all to check it out. I’m going to try to finish this based-on-a-true-story book before I go see the movie, so that I have an idea of the backstory  behind it. As far as other exciting things go, I have moved into my new apartment and am loving it. It is certainly an adjustment, but I’m glad to be living off campus before I have to move out into the “real world” and manage living in an apartment while also having a job. 

I’ll talk to you guys later ^~^ 

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Problems

So today I was rock climbing, and during it, I was preoccupied by something. In rock climbing, there’s bouldering. Within bouldering there are certain routes set to accomplish, and those are called ‘problems’. So, I was climbing a problem today that was difficult. I had tried it the other day when I went with my friends, but I didn’t complete it. What happened, was we were bouldering and then they all got tired of it, but I was climbing that problem right as they were ready to move onto something else within the gym. I was kind of bummed, because this was happening while I was mid-problem, and I really wanted to solve this one. So today I was back to the gym, and I made it, I solved that problem that I wanted to solve last Friday. What got in the way last time was not limited to the time crunch however, I was stuck at a certain part on the problem that required shifting my weight over. I don’t boulder much, so usually any transition in bouldering (especially ones that require me supporting most of my weight with my arms) isn’t the most comfortable thing. That’s why I like it though. Personally, bouldering is a challenge. Rock climbing in general is a challenge, but bouldering adds height– with the caveat that when you let go, you are falling right away. Now don’t be so scared, boulders are only 16 feet maximum height typically, and there is a mat under you. However, I am not one for falling gracefully, or even falling in general. Despite having a mat under you though, you can still fall wrong, because not all falls are planned falls. The mat is there just in case you slip during a move– and believe me, that slipping is not fun (but is any slipping really fun?). I just wanted to share with you all that our mind is our biggest controller. If I hadn’t talked myself into moving for the transition on that problem, I would’ve continued to get stuck on that part. But once I talked myself into it the first time, it wasn’t as scary.

library employee 6/17/14 I don’t know why I wrote this…

Dear Library Employee,

Do you ever stare at the teenagers who come into your workplace and get a library card? Do you have hope and think “Ah, finally the youth is interested in reading,” and then you see the same one weeks later, but they just use their card for using the computers this place kindly offers to the public? You are disappointed because that’s not the point of a library card, to go to a place that offers an activity you already spend so long doing at home anyway. Sure, you can read at home too, but this building is full of books and offers a selection wider than “the island of the blue dolphins,” or “phantoms toll booth.”

love and crazy things

It’s so strange, the one type of “love” that most of us never question is the love that is portrayed and enjoyed by tv characters. The other day I was watching a really good show (I won’t mention the name just in case any of you watch the show, I don’t want to spoil it). So the main girl gets cheated on by a boyfriend and they break up but remain still in contact because they talk in the hallways at school. A lot of episodes later, she is with a new guy and he is like the all around sweet guy that wouldn’t cheat on her and begins as her friend. They eventually date and then the ex becomes a problem because she is worried about him, so she tracks him down one day, and somehow (I won’t say how unless it is requested) he gets beaten up. She’s there for him, one thing leads to another, they kiss and have sex and she cheats on the “friend” boyfriend, but at the time they were going through a small, maybe big, fight. So she is in love with the ex that cheated on her and the cheating is somewhat behind them, but now she is doing the same thing to a whole other guy because of the fact that she had sex with her ex that she is still in love with. I’m very conflicted, you see, because she is a really sweet character, and she doesn’t want to hurt the guy, but it’s done already. So questions for you all: Would you ever get back with an ex who cheated on you? If you cheated on them with someone else, would that in any way make you understand how they could just cheat on you? Thoughts? Do you think that love can blind your thoughts and make you do things that you would normally not do? Have you ever cheated on anyone? I’d really enjoy to hear any feedback that you all have.

The guy

So, I think I told you all, my sister’s boyfriend was planning on having me meet one of his friends. Yesterday, that’s what happened. I only had a few minutes to talk to this guy, because I had to leave soon. It was a shame that we didn’t get to talk that much, he was nervous, so he didn’t really say much, and then he wasn’t able to stay inside the place I was, so that complicated things. Here is my overview of everything about him though: He is beyond adorable. He’s taller than me, definitely not hard with me being just a bit more than five feet, but I appreciate a good height difference. He is like 5′ 11″ ish I would say. His eyes, could kill. They are “O M G!” Worthy. They are so perfectly colored, like rare lookng marbles or something. His smile; so cute. I was kind of disappointed though, since because he was nervous, I thought he seemed a little uninterested. But, my sister’s boyfriend later told me that it was he because he didn’t want to mess up, and that he thought he blew it or something. Anyways, we are probably going to arrange for us to be able to meet again, hopefully this time for longer. Admittedly, I was nervous too, but it wasn’t the kind of nervous he was. He was nervous to where he could only really respond to questions, but didn’t know what to ask or talk about. My nervousness, was shakiness. He couldn’t see I think, but I felt worse than a chihuahua out in the winter time. I managed to say things though, so hopefully he enjoyed the impression I gave him. Because he’s really cute, and I’d like to possibly have a chance with him 😉

Eyes

Lately my eye has been feeling weird. It like has this little pain in the right corner of it, and it hurts when I blink. I don’t know what it is, but it reminds me of my eyes every time I freakin’ blink. When I think about eyes, I think of then as the window to the soul. Which makes me curious of what my window’s view is. What part of my soul can people see through my eyes? What does a guy think when he looks into them? Like those thoughts from someone might be the thing that a boyfriend could say to me that could make me fall in love with him. I think we should all tell our little cutesy thoughts about others, it would be wonderful. Honestly, it would brighten a lot of people’s days, to hear something good about themselves, that they don’t even consciously mean to do.
Another thing, I met a guy the other day ;)… Kinda.

Nostalgic for smells

So, earlier today, after my workout, I was taking a shower. After I popped open the lid of my shampoo, I had a remembrance of the same scent, but from the past. My shampoo is coconut scented; and it’s smell is along the lines of the same scent of a my little pony I used to own, from when I was like ten years old. It was kind of strange, smelling my shampoo and thinking of a plastic toy pony. One certain moment of playing with that toy also pops up in my head every time I think of it. I had played with it many times, but that time, for some odd reason, stuck out to me. Anyways, now that I’m sitting here writing this, it has made me aware of other scents, or times, of nostalgia I’ve experienced.
The scent of the air on a fall day. The sense of wonder about relationships with boys, and the days when the idea of it felt intangible. How I felt when I met the archer for the first time. How I felt when I felt something for the archer the first time. Now, even though it’s not that far in the past, the way I felt when I met and talked to Dominco for the first time. How I felt just the other day, when I would pause, thinking “is this when we’ll kiss?”
Memories and nostalgia are a wonderful thing. I like to try and look back on my memories and not be sad that they are memories, but be happy that they happened. I don’t want good times to have to become memories, but that’s what life is; It is a compilation of memories. You have a set duration of time, that you remain unaware of from the day you’re born, until the day you die. I think that the point of life, is to love to your full extent, and to really make your mark in people’s hearts. In order to live a fulfilling life, in my opinion, is to be remembered in a substantial way. To be remembered for a special thing that you do. Maybe I will write a book, maybe I could be a motivational speaker, or maybe I could create something new. I don’t know what my life’s purpose is yet, but I know I want to leave this world having meant something. I want to make my mark, in the chaos of life.
Maybe my mark could be to one person. To mean the world to one person, could possibly make me, mean something to the world in it all.

May I have your attention please?

So readers, as you all have probably gathered from the last few posts including the names “Mr. Puff” and “Dominico”, I am a very confused person when it comes to deciding what I want. 

Well, possibly to your surprise, I have finally decided. But, let me tell you first how my past non-blogging days (or week?) have been. Each day I switched back and forth on whether it was Dominco or Mr. Puff, I even got my parents involved, so they knew what was going on. Since you all don’t know me personally, let me tell you that that’s not a frequent thing. I try to avoid talking about my guy interests with my parents until I can tell them that the guy I like, is already my boyfriend. In this case though, I needed opinions. 

It was like I had two references:

the first one… 

Dominoco Hot Voice

special skills: I can talk non-stop (even at first meeting), I’m very tall, I have an accent, I’m a good person who walks my puppy at least once a day, and I know three languages in total. I also get good grades. 

References: Your sister’s boyfriend, who dare I say is a great judge of character 😉

Hobbies: Basketball player, and spending time with family. 

(info taken away from the first meeting– ever)

the second one…

Mr. Puff Smile

Special skills: I don’t talk about raunchy things like most guys, I have a nice smile, I help my parents make dinner, I workout. 

References: personal interaction with the reader of this resume

Hobbies: Trumpet and my own business. 

(two years or more accumulative info) 

Disclaimer: THESE ARE FAKE RESUMES THAT I CAME UP WITH FOR EACH ONE OF THE BOYS. THEY WERE NOT PERSONALLY SUBMITTED.

But anyways… Both of them have perfect credentials in my opinion. So I asked my parents “If you were to interview two people, and both interviews went well, both of them perfect for the job; who would you choose? Would you choose the one you know personally is a good person, or would you go with the instinct of a reliable source that says this one is a very good person and is better than the other?”  They told me what I would’ve told anyone else though *sigh* they said ” I would go with the one you like more.” my head just ached at the thought of making this decision for myself. I honestly liked both options, and didn’t want to turn either down. 

Yet, here I am, telling you, that I did it. I made the decision. The other day, Dominico came over to my house. He did something that I think is absolutely wonderful… he actually had a conversation with me, he was actually getting to know me and telling me about himself as well. I’m not saying that Mr. Puff wouldn’t do that, but here Dominico was, unscripted and everything; he asked me questions, and I didn’t even request a question game or anything… We just talked 🙂 Until later that is 😉 now now now, don’t get to excited. 

So Dominico and I decided it would be best to take our conversation outside, on a swing, for a breath of fresh air if you will ;P Eventually, I ended up moving over closer to him, to the point where we were sitting with his arm around my shoulder, and my head nuzzled against the side of his peck 😉

I think Dominico wasn’t sure that I liked him though, because he had to get a second party to tell him to go for it. That second party, was his reference, my sister’s boyfriend. Her boyfriend said to him, in Spanish “kiss her, she likes you! make your move!!” lol. 

This was true, I did like him. I was enjoying my time with him, and I wanted him to kiss me. So it took about another hour of us sitting on the couch, inside now, and he asked me if I liked him, what I would say if he asked me to go out with him, and then if I would go out with him. All of my answers were “yes,” haha. So then, once he had ‘asked me out’, he kissed me :D!!! I was thinking in my head “finally!” haha. I thought I was going to have to go in for a kiss, but no 😉 

So, now you all know, I have chosen Dominico. He’s my tall, dark, handsome, and exotic guy ;3

Concerts

A week ago, I went to my first concert. It’s an interesting experience. Almost a herd mentality forms when the singer walks into the crowd, and sometimes you can’t hear the words. It’s cool though, to think that all of you are there for one reason: to see your favorite performer, live and in the flesh, singing in front of you (even if you’re like hundreds of feet away from them, but thats not the point… 😉 it’s an experience). I’m not the type of person who is a mega-fan of anyone, or at least not at the moment (I’m not saying I couldn’t ever be a mega fan), I’m just not to the extent that I get excited to reach out in the hopes to just touch a person though. I would say that I appreciate music. I just don’t like to be a jumpy person when the atmosphere, or like mood of the song is wrong for jumping though. In my opinion, the person that I went to see, Gavin DeGraw, doesn’t have songs that you need to jump to, in order to enjoy. You can just sit back and listen to the words, at least that’s what I’d like to do. It kind of gets to me though, when people are like “why aren’t you up and jumping around?!?!?!????!!!!”
because I like to hear the music, not my brain jostling around in my head” I think to myself.
Of course I don’t respond with that, but it’s what I think sometimes. When train came on though, I did stand up, because it felt like the right music to jump to.
All in all, it was a great concert. So good that I left with a headache (sarcasm) haha, but sarcasm aside, I am serious, I did actually enjoy it. I’m going to another concert soon, and look forward to writing to you all about it.