Difficult locks and porcupine legs

So I decided that I should tell you all about my lovely shower experience earlier (sarcasm intended). I was in the shower stall at my gym, and I was attempting to shave my legs. Because even in the winter time when my legs don’t show, I can still feel them, so I shave fairly often. I went to shave my legs and after working on one calf, I felt it, and the shaver had barely gotten any work done. So, here I was in frustration because I could feel the porcupine-like goose bumps that my legs were overcome with, and I had to settle on waiting for tomorrow morning. Another difficulty was having to get my lock cut. My padlock was pretty good up until today where it decided to jam up, so we had to get someone to come in a use some big clippers to open it up. Meanwhile I was standing in a towel with all of my shower shampoo crap in my hands. Luckily it didn’t take to long though. But yeah, so that’s what happened in the locker room today.

Insecurities between guys

So what I mean by insecurities is when a guy tries to appear like a man compared to the other guys by putting them down, or showing dominating behavior. For example, I immensely dislike when I see guys try to belittle others guys by putting their hand on their shoulder in an (i don’t even know a good word for it right now, but in a way that they are dominating the other guy, or are attempting to make him look stupid) type of way. Another one that bugs me is that handshake with the shoulder squeeze that some men do in business (or other environments) to show dominance, that they are the top dog or something. What’s annoying though is when guys do these things to appear cool for girls. In my opinion, when guys play dominance and insecure games, that just makes them less attractive. Another one is (even in the position or power) when one tries to make the other appear like a little kid who is naive and reckless, and stupid. I personally think it’s a form of bullying to make fun of someone in a passive way. Even if you aren’t making fun of them to their face, you might as well be.
When guys show off too. That’s really annoying unless they’re actually good at something impressive. Like if this one guy is showing me his cartwheel or something, and you can do a backflip, by all means do the backflip because its unusual to just be able to do. But don’t do something ridiculous that has no merit in the activity.

A story from my childhood…

Ok, so I haven’t thought of the story I’m going to tell you yet… So one second…
Hmm.. So I’m thinking I’ll tell you about my first (or second? o.0) girlscout meeting.
So it was a nice spring/summer time ish day, and the wind was blowing. We met at a local park for this girlscout meeting. My sister, this one girl, and I all were the three order in the troop, so we were our own unit. When we met this girl, I didn’t imagine that we would’ve been friends for almost 5 years following this. But that’s not the point of the story. So the three of us had already gone over basic getting to know you type of questions, and we proceeded to do an activity (learning a song). So we searched for a place to do it. Away from all the little kids of course because we were the cool older kids ;P ha, just kidding, we were like 10. Anyways, so we had settled on sitting on top of a picnic table. We sang this song called “pink pajamas”. Earlier in the meeting, the troop leader had gone over the ways in which we, as girlscouts, were to respect the flag. The way that stuck out to the three of us was that it wasn’t to touch the ground. Well remember how I said it was a windy day? Well the flag was also set up with a PVC pipe stand, so it wasn’t very sturdy. So, in the middle of our oh so important practice of our rendition of pink pajamas, we saw the flag starting to tilt O.O the horror! (Well at least that’s what we thought in the fifth grade, don’t judge). So we ran to the flag and caught it just in time before it hit the ground :D! Victory was ours. I have to say, the simplest things in life really make you proud when you’re a kid. The three of us felt very proud that day that we were the role model as older girls that we wouldn’t let this piece of fabric touch the ground. Now that I think back to it, it was silly. But on the day, well it was still silly, but it felt more substantial.

A question for you all

So to all of you reading this out there, I have a question. You see, today I was having a conversation with someone and the beliefs of some certain books came up. It’s the mindset that what you’re thinking is holding you back from being happy, and that despite your circumstances, you can make your happiness come from within. Now I’m not saying that happiness can’t come from within, because it surely can. What I’m asking though is, “could these methods work in really hard circumstances?”. Like I know there might be some super optimistic, glass half full people, that no matter what happens to them, they’re cheery. But what do you think? And have you ever read any of these books about the key to happiness and all that? If so, did they work?

What I did today

So today I was in my garage and I randomly came across my brother’s old skate board and it reminded me of a thought of mine the other day. Which was that I wanted to learn how to ride a skate board. It so happened to turn out that we did have a skate board, so I took to the end of the driveway to start my quest (after I ran upstairs to get a Youtube tutorial on the basics of getting on and what my footing should be). So after I had that figured out, it was time to apply it. I admittedly did sort of fall… like once, but that didn’t make me end early. After I had gotten a feel (ish) for how to balance and make it move, I went inside. It’s very fun, and I look forward to learning how to get off of it smoothly and how to increase my speed. But for now, I have the baby step of today where I finally got on a skateboard officially for the first time. 

Thoughts I randomly wrote down

When should you first say “I love you”?
A lot of people might give you an answer like “when it feels right”
But chances are, if you’re asking this, you’ve never said it before. So that might leave you stumped “we’ll when is the

right

time???”
Then you might wonder how you’ll even know when it’s love. Someone might tell you “when you’re really on love, you just know.” This leaves you at a stump when you’re first curious about love: you don’t know how to objectively identify it, or even when you should annoy be that you feel it. That’s the thing about love, though. It’s not something that can be properly examined or explained. It can be a destroyer of some’s better intuition. Or leave us baffled when this intangible and indescribable feeling, makes us feel like we are stuck, when we are deprived of this other being that we somehow care for so much.

There are people who will say what love should be, or what it is to them. They try to put a definition on it and what it means. But love can differ so much from person to person. We all love differently, and feel differently, than others. If love was this basic thing that we could describe, we’d have to slot it into categories, or even rename the different kinds of love. You can love many things: your parents, pets, or significant other. But those loves are not all the same kind of love.

Some factors that I think the loves we have for certain people are built upon;
Parental love:
•they raised you (most of the time)
•they taught you how to do things
•they provide for you
•the ties to them are permanent– no matter what, they are your biological parents
•they have seen you cry (even if they’ve only seen you cry about physical pains and not very emotional ones)
•you came from them (basically applied to moms mainly on this one)
Pet love (love you have for your pets, things you are fond of them for, and do for then out of love):
•you pet and cuddle them
•they offer a non-judging little shoulder to cry on
•they’re warm and cute (and since you chose them, the are your style of animal that you like)
•(most of the time) they’re loyal back to you when you treat them well
•you feed them because you want them to live
significant other love:
•You chose this person because you liked them
•you find them sexually pleasing and attractive
•you’re intimate with them
•they’re associated with psychical and mental pleasure
•you shared thoughts and feelings with them on a broad spectrum of subjects
•you oust your trust in them
•you have bonded together through mutual experiences
•they’ve (or might have) seen you at your rawest emotional level, or basically vulnerable
•they give you intimate attention by choice, they don’t have to, and weren’t made to love you and pay attention to you, but they do
•they excite you
•lastly, they can sometimes consume most of your conscious thoughts (you spend a lot of time thinking about them)

These are all (random possible) factors that could show how your love of different things is formed upon different components. They are not my definitions of what love is exactly, but they are different experiences you might feel in each of these relationships. So, say you love your parents and partner. You are sexually attracted to your partner though, which adds a different element to your love for them, and adds a part that the parent love doesn’t possess. That’s one of the many possible things that make those relationships different.
All of these loves are deep, but different in certain ways. Some components might be the same. But all of the factors make the types of love different.

What’s true love? “How do I know your love is true?”
What does this even mean really? What is ‘true’ love? Some will say “it’s when you’re in a crowded room and you see him, and when he looks at you, you still feel butterflies.” “Love, true love, doesn’t have boundaries as to how far it will go.” “It’s when you can talk for hours and not get bored.” There might be many comments people offer up, just to show how truly ‘in love’ they must be. Is it true love when they don’t ever make you mad? I don’t think so, for some people it could be. Or maybe, true love is when, despite how they act, you can’t give up on being with them, or loving them– You’re enamored with them. You can’t explain why you still love them–despite the fact that you might go through some tough times.
They are an individual who fits into you as if you’ve lived life, thinking you were a whole set, only to find out that they were a missing piece from you all along. Thoughts of loosing your piece scares you. You’re afraid that you won’t be able to find another one that morphs into you quite as seamlessly. What you fear is that you’ll end up not being their missing piece. Dating– relationships, are a puzzle. Sometimes you meet a piece that doesn’t fit right, then some might find a piece that slides in just fine, but isn’t fitting as well as it could. Sometimes, you find a piece that has the right pattern and shape, but you rotate it in all several of the wrong directions until you almost give up on it– but then, it fits.

So those were just some random thoughts (hopefully fairly consistent ones?) that I just jotted down on a piece of paper. I decided that I wanted to type it up and share it with all of you though. I’m not trying to claim that I know anything about love, but those were just some thoughts I had about it.

So what do you think? Have you ever been in love? What is love to you?

One night

So one night I was having a lot of trouble staying asleep. I’d put my head on the pillow and close my eyes and everything, and I’d be set, right? Well yeah, usually, but not that night. It was a few years ago. I had one of those dreams where you’re like walking down some stairs and then you fall, which translates into the reality of you bolting up awakened from your sleep. So it started out with one of those dreams, and like I normally do when those dreams happen, I went back to sleep. But the same thing happened twice after it, and I was kind of freaked out. I was thinking that something was wrong with me because I kept having these falling dreams and just literally could not stay asleep. So I ended up going to my mom about it, and then she suggested that I just try to go back asleep again. I was like “okay”, but I was like frustrated at this point cuz I just wanted some sleep (I had school in the morning). Then, it ended up that it happened two more times, I was crying after that. I just wanted to stay awake after it happening that many times because I thought it was going to happen again. Finally, towards the end of the night I did a fault fall asleep, but it took a while.
Anyways, what reminded me of that was that there was this vine talking about those falling dreams. One of the comments on the vine said “We only have those because our heart is slowing down and the brain sends a jolt to keep you alive. But some day it won’t be strong enough to wake you up.”
That kinda freaked me out. So who knows, maybe my heart was trying to kill me that night o.O

Thinking about the name

So you see, I see that most of y’all out there in this blogging community have pretty good names when it comes to the correlation of it and your blog subject matter. So, I feel like I should change the name if my blog. Is that like even possible though? I don’t really know. But I’m thinking it should be called something like the ADD chronicles, or like inconsistent thoughts of a teenager. Like seriously I think the lack of commitment stated in my name about writing anything would make it less confusing for you when I do stuff. Like I think that I had told you all the other day that that one post was going to be followed up with a few more? Well I don’t even remember if I did that. Also, if this was a blog geared towards my random goldfish attention span moments it just might make more sense. So please comment below and tell me if there is any way that you can change a blog name without getting a completely new blog. Also, comment about whether or not you think it sounds interesting for me to start writing about the smallest of random things.

So today I haven’t posted, and I had told you all that I would try to blog as often as I could. So, here’s my attempt at a post today (well more like tonight). This post is on drowsiness. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I stayed up late the other day, or if it’s just something about today, but I have had a hard time staying awake. I’ve just been dragging all day. It all started when I slept past my alarm (which I’m pretty sure didn’t go off), and then it continued throughout the day. The next account was in my exercise class I took. During the class, I was unconsciously going through the motions while zoning out. It was like my mind and my body had disconnected for a brief moment. Then, all throughout school I was tired. The drowsiness still hasn’t left me, however, I still managed to sit through a high school football game and be rather awake. That awake feeling didn’t last very long, though. After the game I came back home and was laying on my bed, I didn’t fall asleep, but I was very exhausted even though I didn’t really do much. Anyways, I’m going to go to bed. I will try to write sometime soon again.